


... keeping our promises

by JohnPuller



Series: Family means ... [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Athena Grant and Bobby Nash are Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Athena Grant, Protective Bobby Nash, Worried Bobby Nash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28647948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnPuller/pseuds/JohnPuller
Summary: Ages ago Bobby made him make a promise. The older man made one himself. But would Bobby remember his promise and come? Could Buck rely on it after all these years?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Family means ... [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862542
Comments: 3
Kudos: 150





	... keeping our promises

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, 
> 
> this is the fourth part of my series "Family means...".  
> All four parts are individual stories that are related but also could be read without the others. Especially this one.
> 
> So enjoy reading!

Four and a half years ago Buck gave Bobby a promise. Back there he wasn´t sure, why Bobby wanted him to make it, was confused and angry at him. After all, back there Bobby was just his captain. So why on earth did he even care about Buck? Why would he let him make a promise like this? Back then, Buck didn´t understand.  
Much happened between then and now. Bobby let him promise right after the incident with Devon. Many things had happened. But he never forgot his promise or the promise Bobby had given to him back then. Not after his sister had killed her husband and he found her with his blood on her hands. Not after the fire truck exploded and landed on top of him. Not after the tsunami. Not during the lawsuit. He never forgot. Not after all those dark moments. In all the month Bobby didn´t even talk to him. No, he never forgot. Even when he was sure, Bobby wouldn´t hold his promise, when Buck would ask him for the one thing the older man said he would do anytime, if Buck would just ask. Buck cringed onto the promise like a lifeline. It kept him swimming. Kept his head above water when he thought he lost his family during the lawsuit. 

And now? Now after all these years he finally understands why Bobby had let him make this promise. That sometimes you just would need the reminder, that someone would be there if you want to. He watched the water under the bridge. Watched how it flow away. He didn´t know how long he stood there. He didn´t even remember walking there. His head was just filled with words. Words he buried all those years, centuries ago. Words he hoped, he had forgotten. But half an hour with his parents where enough to get them all to surface again. Worse. The thirty minutes were enough to add new to the list. You´re pathetic. I can´t even remember why we kept you. You should be thankful, we didn´t abound you the minute we left the hospital. I knew you would only cause trouble. Buck couldn´t hold the tears any longer. He let them flow down his face. Didn´t even bother to dry them. Where was the point? 

Since Buck was old enough to understand his parents made it clear that they never wanted him. Never cared about him. They gave him food or at least paid for it. Bought him cloth. Made sure someone would send him to school. But that was that. He was raised by a nanny till the age of eight. Two months after Maddie left, they decided Buck would be old enough to take care of himself. He was eight for god's sake. He could remember the day they paid Hannah the last time. The young women, just ten years older than Maddie begged them to let her stay. Promised them, she would raise Buck even without money. But his parents were merciless. Even so, they knew that Hannah or Nana like Buck called here didn´t have a place to stay. The women have lived at their mansion since the month Buck was born. She was responsible for his behavior. His grades. To get him a meal. She gave up her own home years ago. But the Buckley´s simply didn´t care. She cost them money, they didn´t want to spend any more, so she had to go. Buck cried a whole night after her. Then his father beat him the first time and he never spoke about Nana again.   
More tears formed themselves in his eyes. Why was he never good enough for them? What did he do, that he didn´t deserve love? What did Maddie he didn´t? He always was one of the best students in his class. He knew, both he and Nana would be yelled at when he wasn´t good enough. But even straight A´s couldn´t please his parents. 

He looked down at his hands. They were trembling since he left Maddie´s apartment. He wasn´t sure if he worried her, with as fast as he did leave after his parents started to ask about the therapist he was seeing. After Dr. Wells, he didn´t think that another therapist could help him, but surprisingly it worked. And it actually helped, if Buck was honest with himself. Even when it had cost some time to not being embarrassed about consoling a therapist. He thought back to the moment his father realized was his son just said. Meeting a therapist? Just one thing more to add to the list of things, were wrong with Buck. But still, it hurt. More than Buck ever would admit to anyone. And it just opened the gate to all those repressed memories. His father standing over him with a bat. His mother yelling at him for one B on his report card. The blood in the bathtub while his parents would be sitting in the living room, watching a movie. 

Someone running into him catapulted him back to reality. He still stood on the bridge, two blocks from Maddie´s apartment. He fiddled his smartphone out of his pocket. Just thirty minutes passed since he left the family dinner at his sisters. Still, it felt like a lifetime. He could see a missed call from Maddie. And a few texts from her, but he didn´t want to deal with that right now. He knew he screwed up with his parents. Again. He didn´t need to be reminded by his big sister. He sight. That was the worry for another day. 

He unlocked his phone, hit the number on speed dial, and waited for Bobby to answer. “Buck?” Bobby sounded like he just woke up. Buck could have hit himself for not checking the time. He should have thought about that. They had an early shift the other morning. Of course, his captain would be asleep by now. “Buck? Is everything alright?” “I… Bobby…” He couldn´t form a clear sentence. Too many thoughts were running through his mind. “Hey son, is everything alright?” Buck could hear the concern in his captain's voice. The last thing he wanted was to worry Bobby. “Yeah… It´s okay. I…” Could he really ask for this favor after all those years? Would Bobby even remember his promise? “Buck? Take a deep breath for me? What´s going on? Don´t you have dinner with Eddie?” Buck laughed bitterly and did as he was told. He took a deep breath. And surprisingly it worked. It calmed him down enough to think straight. And to remind him, that he had lied to Eddie and Bobby about his plans tonight. “Yeah, no. I mean I had dinner. But not with him.” He knew that just would freak Bobby even more. “Okay, then well…” “Bobby, please, it´s not what you think. I…”, Buck interrupted him. “I am listening son. Just take your time.” Buck gathered all his courage. “A few years ago… After Devon… you let me make a promise and… and you gave me one. Do you… do you remember?” 

\- Side by side they sat in the locker room. Knees pressed together. Bobby had his hand on Buck´s shoulder. “Buck? I know, I probably just overreacting and overthinking this but… but I want you to listen to me!” Buck looked up at his captain and nodded. “I want you to give me a promise. When… when you ever need someone to talk to. Someone to listen, to grab a beer with, or just someone to sit beside you. Please promise me to call me!” Buck looked confused at him. “Bobby…?” “No Buck. Just promise me you will call. You can call every time. In any situation. But please promise me you will call and I promise you to drop anything and come. But please, promise!”, the plead in Bobby´s voice let Buck nod. “Yeah… sure, but… why?” Bobby sight. The older man looked uncomfortable. “Well back in Minnesota…” The alarm bleared out and Buck never gets the end of the story. But he would forever remember the promise he just made. -

The line was silent for a minute and Buck almost was sure that Bobby would hang up or asked him if he had taken something but he didn´t. “Of course I do son. Just tell me where you are and I will come to get you.” Buck let go of the air he had held in. He didn´t even notice. Relieve settled in almost instantly. “Yeah ohm… do you know the bridge two blocks from Maddie?” He nearly could see the frown on his captain's face. “Yeah…”, he answered slowly. “Before you enter it, there… there is a bench. I will wait there.”, and he hangs up. He knew it wasn´t polite and just would Bobby freak out even more but he just couldn´t help it. 

Slowly he brushed the tears away and made his way to the bench. He knew Bobby, the man who was like a father to him was coming and that was all he needed to calm down. At least enough to stop the tears from falling. He sat down on the bench and continued watching the river flow by. He heard the cars driving behind him. All those people who drove home to their families. He sight. He never had that. Not before the 118 and Eddie. He thought back to Nana and wondered what she was doing right. Would she even remember him? Did she think about him sometimes? Did she still to church every Sunday? He grabbed the necklace he wore every day. Hannah had given it to him, the day she left. It was the cross she had always worn. Simple. Out of wood. Nothing special. But back there it had meant the word to Buck. It still meant so much to him. He never took it off. He sight. 

Hundreds of Memories flooded Buck´s mind. On his fifth birthday where Nana had made sure he didn´t even thought about the fact that none of his friends from school were allowed to come. The nights she held him after his parents had yelled at him again, for not being best in class. All those times she held him into her arms after dinner, when he asked her why he wasn´t allowed to eat with his parents like his older sister. He loved his sister and he knew she didn´t even was aware of half the things his parents did to him, but still. How could she not question the absence of her little brother at dinner? 

Their parents made it perfectly clear to the three-year-old Evan Buckley, that he couldn’t tell his older sister when he was upset, because she was busy. They told the five-year-old Evan that he shouldn´t run to his sister after they yelled to him because he would just make her sad and holding her back from schoolwork. And they explained to the frightened eight-year-old Buck that he shouldn´t call her, when his father beat him up, because that just would hold her back in life. As a child, Buck was too scared of his parents to ignore the rules and talk to his sister. As an adult, he didn´t tell her out of manner. Maddie probably suspected something, because he always refused to meet up with his parents. He just had agreed to this dinner because Maddie was pregnant and he didn´t want to cause any kind of stress. And because he still felt guilty about not going to her baby shower a few weeks ago because of his parents. He at least could handle dinner with them, couldn´t he? What could a few hours do right? He laughs bitterly to himself. He should know better. Maybe she even knew about the yelling. Buck always suspected that there was no way she couldn´t have heard that when even Nana down in the kitchen was aware of it. But Buck never hold it against her, it hurt sure, but he couldn’t blame her for that. They were kids after all. 

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. “Buck? Hey son.” Bobby smiled softly. It was the kind of smile fathers put on when they wanted to calm their children. Buck knew that, he had seen it on Eddie and even Bobby towards Harry and May. And he was sure he had the same smile while calming down Christopher from a nightmare. Buck tried a smile back but knew he failed. “Hey Bobby.” The older man sat down next to Buck and throw his arm around his shoulders. Buck felt comforted by the gesture. Hey laid his head down on Bobby´s shoulder and together they watched the river flow by. “Maddie called me on the way here. She was worried after you left abruptly. I told her, you would be with me. And I texted Eddie that you would sleep at ours. ” Buck just nodded and continued watching the water. He always loved the water. As a kid, he often visits the river near their house. First Nana brought him thereafter fights with his parents or for a picnic on Saturday. After she was forced to leave he still got there to find peace after a fight or beating up from his father. It always could calm him down. After the tsunami, he didn´t like the feeling of water on his skin or especially on his cloth anymore and when Chris was there with him he didn´t like going near water at all, but it still could calm him down just by flowing away.

“I had dinner with my parents.” He could feel Bobby freeze up under his head, but he continued talking. He knew, if he would end, he probably would never start again. “I know it was a stupid idea. And I am sorry for lying to you and Eddie. But Maddie and Chim didn´t drop it. After I worked on her baby shower she was so mad at me and with them still in town she suggested dinner and I didn´t want to stress her out. I mean Chim told me the other day, the doctor said, she should take care of herself much more and take it slow. So I didn´t want to add any stress. And I didn´t sound too stupid to me. I should just be a dinner with them, Maddie, Chim, and Albert.” He was rambling by now and he knew it, but he physically couldn´t stop. His gestures grew bigger with any word. “And then I saw them and knew instantly it was a bad idea but I didn´t know what to do and… and…” “Buck, son? Breath. Take a deep breath for me. That´s it. You do so well.” Buck looked him in the eyes. “Buck? It´s okay. You don´t have to apologize. Sometimes we think something is good for us, but it isn´t. We all were there. Remember my drinking? Or Eddie´s fighting? It´s okay to take the wrong path. What is much more important is, to ask for help after you turned in the wrong direction.” Buck nodded. He knew Bobby was right. Of course, Bobby was right. He was most of the time. “Help?”, he asked and bursts into tears. Bobby immediately dragged into a hug. “It´s okay Buck. Let it out. I am here. I won´t go anywhere. I am here. You are safe.” Bobby continued whispering nonsense into his ear. Buck couldn´t even make out the word anymore, but they were calming.

Eventually, Buck stopped crying and looked to Bobby. The older man just sat, one hand still on Buck´s shoulders, one on his knee. A soft smile on the lips. “Thanks, I… I needed this. And sorry for not telling you beforehand.” Bobby shook his head. “None of this Buck. It´s okay. You don´t need to apologize. But you probably should call Eddie before he let your phone explode.” Buck frowned. He hadn’t even acknowledged that his phone was ringing the whole time. He put it out of his pocket and accepted the current call from Eddie. “Thank god. Buck, Maddie called and said you run out? You told me you had dinner with Bobby and Athena. And cap just texted me, you would sleep at his? Are you okay? What´s going on?” Eddie sounded worried. Buck gripped Bobby´s hand to steady himself and started to tell. “Well, I lied to you and Bobby for that matter. I had… I had dinner with… with Maddie and my parents. I left after it got too much.” “Buck! Evan, oh my god. Are you okay? Where are you? I come get you!” “Eddie, stop. It´s fine. I am with Bobby. You don´t have to come. He will take me to his. Stay with Chris. Tomorrow is your day off and I am pretty sure Bobby will not let me work tomorrow, so it´s fine.” Bobby laughs at his statement. “Oh, you definitely won´t work tomorrow son. Athena is off tomorrow as well. So you, this boyfriend of yours, and she will figure something out about this whole thing with Maddie and your parents. I am pretty sure your sister wants an explanation.” “You heard pops Eddie. I explain it tomorrow. Don´t worry.” “Okay. Okay. As long as you safe?” “I am. Bobby and ´Thena will make sure of it. Love you.” “Love you too, carino. See you tomorrow.” “Yeah see ya. And give Chris a kiss from me.” Eddie chuckled. “Will do, my love. Will do”, and the line died. With what in the world did he deserve a man like Eddie? Buck was sure, the Texan could make better when he wanted to but he chooses to stay with him. Buck smiled softly about the thought of Eddie and Christopher. His Dias boys. As he looked up, he saw Bobby smiling knowingly. 

“I send Athena a text. She was worried after I left in the middle of the night without telling her where I would go or what´s going on. I told her she would have some company tomorrow and she is already planning breakfast.” Buck´s smile only grows. He thought about Athena and how she welcomed him into her family. He knows, they had a rocking start but they warmed their way into each other’s heard quite fast. Buck loved her like a mother. She gave him advise, when he needed it. A shoulder to lean on a place where he felt safe. She was always there for him and he knew she would never ask for payback. At least he was pretty sure about that.  
“Can we… I mean you probably want to go back to sleep. But can we sit here and watch the water… just a few more minutes?” Bobby smiled. “Whatever you need.” So they sat there and watched the water together. Buck, again had his head lowered on Bobby´s shoulder. Bobby himself had laid his head on top of Buck´s. One arm protectively around his shoulders. Bobby had to admit that watching the river was more calming than he had thought. Even so, there were cars driving behind the two men, they sat there in peace. Both in their own world. 

After a while, Buck´s eyes goes heavily and they had to fight to keep them open. Bobby noticed. “What do you think about heading home son?”, he asks quietly. Buck just nodded and get up. Together they headed to Bobby´s car and started to drive to his place. Buck leaned his head on the window and dozed off. Bobby smiled at the image. Buck looked peaceful and relaxed. If you would ask Bobby, he would freeze time and let him stay like this forever. But he couldn´t stop time, so he waked him up as turned off the motor. Athena already waited for them in the doorframe. “Hey Buck, come on. There is a bed waiting for you.” Buck again, just got up and followed him into the house. Too tired to do anything else, the younger man just dropped on the couch. Bobby and Athena chuckled. “Seems like someone is really tired.” Buck just groaned at Athena´s statement. He didn´t want to get up again. “Well, then Buckeroo. Sleep well.” She gets rid of his shoes, placed a blanket on top of him, and a soft kiss on his forehead. “Night `Thena.” She smiled as she left the room and turned off the light. Bobby decided to stay a few more minutes. He sat down beside the couch and watched Buck. “Bobby?”, the younger man questioned. “Yeah son?” “Thanks for coming pops.” Bobby smiled. He liked it when the younger man called him that. “Not for this son. I promised you.” “Still… you hadn´t to.” “Buck we are family. And family means keeping our promises! Never forget that.” With that, he as well placed a kiss on Buck´s forehead and left to catch at least a few hours of sleep before his next shift. When he slept a bit more peacefully, knowing his son safe in the living room, well no one had to know.


End file.
